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He hires only the best callow idiots

So if you were concerned that man-child-in-law Jared Kushner is taking on too much responsibility in the Trump administration and is perilously out of his depth, we've got some great news for you: You're really smart!

In case you're too scared shitless to read this entire paragraph, from a revealing Vanity Fair article on the palace intrigue inside the White House, here's the takeaway: Increase your short position on stocks in sectors having anything to do with living humans; go long on potassium iodide:

"At one point during the campaign, when Trump wanted to speak more substantively about China, he gave Kushner a summary of his views and then asked him to do some research. Kushner simply went on Amazon, where he was struck by the title of one book, Death by China, co-authored by Peter Navarro. He cold-called Navarro, a well-known trade-deficit hawk, who agreed to join the team as an economic adviser. (When he joined, Navarro was in fact the campaign’s only economic adviser.) Kushner operated in much the same way when it came to crafting Trump’s tax plan—calling up someone for help out of the blue. Given the initial absence of pros who could do the job properly, he also tried his hand at writing speeches. Responding to criticism from the boss ('Jared, this is terrible!'), Kushner said, according to a person familiar with the episode, 'I’m not a fucking speechwriter. I am a real-estate guy.'"

At least Ivanka's business is looking up! You'll be the sassiest, sexiest gal on the charred post-apocalyptic hellscape with Ivanka Trump-branded apparel and accessories, available now at

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