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White conservatives are freestyle rapping to support Trump, and it is hilarious

Full disclosure: I’m no expert on hip-hop. I was raised by socially conservative Republicans in a mid-sized Wisconsin town and, as a result, am whiter than Gollum’s taint. I listen to ‘70s and ‘80s pop, and when I really get a wild hair, I mix in some Burt Bacharach. But holy shit, I know a horrible rap when I hear one.

Before we proceed any further, let’s agree on a few universal aesthetic maxims: 1) Mike Huckabee should not do song parodies; 2) Tommy Wiseau should never direct again, because he’s already attained perfection; and 3) white people in red MAGA hats should not freestyle rap.

Ah, but many are doing so, because at the BET Awards a week and a half ago rapper Eminem premiered a vicious rap-screed that tore our lumpy orange overlord a new orifice.

Never content to let anything go, Trump’s Mango Horde has let loose with its own barrage of hip-hop paeans to Sir Fibs-a-Lot.

It’s just what you imagine it would be … and more.


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