Trump steps on his own micropenis once again
The last time the U.S. economy failed to create jobs over the course of a full month, Donald Trump was still an adolescent boy hitting on 14-year-old girls. That’s right, it was 2010.
But now he’s president, and boy is this embarrassing.
It shouldn’t be. In a country with an adult leader, we would surely be able to put our schadenfreude aside and see the 33,000 jobs lost in September as a temporary hiccup exacerbated by an unusually active hurricane season.
But Trump has set himself up for scorn, first by tweeting insults at President Obama whenever monthly job creation was less than sterling, and more recently by implying that his mere presence in the Oval Office is the reason for every positive piece of financial news we’ve seen since November — even though the most significant economic legislation he’s signed was a bill allowing gun dealers to sell weapons to the mentally ill.
So we’re entitled to some petty gloating because, you know, going high when they go low may be a wonderful sentiment, but it didn’t really work.
So without further ado, here’s a short history of Donald Trump’s abject shame, told exclusively in Donald Trump tweets:
September 2011, after 110,000 jobs were created in August
November 2011, just before the release of the November jobs report (141,000 jobs were created)
May 2012, after 78,000 jobs were added in April. (Incidentally, a full 25 percent of Trump’s jobs reports — two out of eight — have been worse than this “terrible” one.)
June 2012, after 115,000 jobs were created in May
July 2012, after 76,000 jobs were created in June
August 2012, after 143,000 jobs were created in July
September 2012, after 177,000 jobs were created in August
October 2012, after 203,000 jobs were created in September
December 2012, after 132,000 jobs were created in November
April 2013, after 130,000 jobs were created in March
May 2014, after 329,000 jobs (not a typo) were created in April
June 2016, after 43,000 jobs were created in May (the following month’s report was considerably better, with 297,000 jobs added — a number Trump has yet to come near)
And what did Trump tweet after yesterday’s truly horrible jobs report?
Sources: Bureau of Labor Statistics, sentient mango shitstain