Senate bill to include universal health coverage … because Trump never lies
In a February 2016 Fox News interview, Greta Van Susteren asked Donald Trump if he’d ever lied to the American people.
“I don’t lie,” Trump insisted. “I mean, I don’t lie. In fact, if anything, you know, I’m so truthful that it gets me in trouble. Okay, they say I’m too truthful. No, I don’t lie. I don’t lie.”
And how can you trust someone who says he never lies? When repeats it six times in nine seconds. That’s a dead giveaway.
So we’ve established that Trump never lies, because lying about never lying is the kind of thing toddlers do after they discover that their parents can’t read their minds, and Trump is a 71-year-old man who presumably has heard of Google.
Therefore, we can expect all of these sincere Donald Trump promises to be part of the Senate’s new health care bill, which is scheduled to be unveiled tomorrow:
“We’re going to have insurance for everybody. There was a philosophy in some circles that if you can’t pay for it, you don’t get it. That’s not going to happen with us.” — Washington Post interview, January 15, 2017
“I am going to take care of everybody. I don’t care if it costs me votes or not. Everybody’s going to be taken care of much better than they’re taken care of now.” — 60 Minutes interview, September 2015
“I was the first & only potential GOP candidate to state there will be no cuts to Social Security, Medicare & Medicaid. Huckabee copied me.” — May 7, 2015, via Twitter
“We will immediately repeal and replace ObamaCare - and nobody can do that like me. We will save $'s and have much better healthcare!” — via Twitter, February 9, 2016
“Preexisting conditions are in the bill, and I mandated it. I said, ‘Has to be.’” — Face the Nation interview, April 30, 2017
“Most importantly, yes, premiums will be coming down. Yes, deductibles will be coming down.” — Rose Garden speech, May 4, 2017
And if you’re still not convinced, let this soothe your tiny fake-news-addled, non-POTUS brain:
“It’s gotta go. Repeal and replace with something terrific.” — on Obamacare, CNN interview, July 30, 2015
See? Do you feel better now?