Donald Trump is 'brilliant,' according to Donald Trump
May 30, 2017
In a recent Washington Post piece about how Trump has turned being a dick into an art form, White House spokeswoman Hope Hicks gave this crazy-as-raccoon-shit statement about how unbelievably awesome her boss is:
“President Trump has a magnetic personality and exudes positive energy, which is infectious to those around him. He has an unparalleled ability to communicate with people, whether he is speaking to a room of three or an arena of 30,000. He has built great relationships throughout his life and treats everyone with respect. He is brilliant with a great sense of humor . . . and an amazing ability to make people feel special and aspire to be more than even they thought possible.”
The statement was made to counterbalance reportage about how Trump uses slights, snubs, and digs to show his staff who's boss, and it raises the troubling question of whether it's necessary or even legal to hold your paid spokeswoman hostage in the basement of an abandoned psychiatric hospital.
Of course, it's unlikely Trump wrote this all by himself because the 10 plagues of Egypt will fly out of his filthy locust-hole before the phrase "exudes positive energy" ever does. Trump probably said something marginally more urbane than "Donald made big boom-boom" and instructed his communications staff to make it sound presidential. But there's no doubt he was hovering when his team was crafting the statement, because no PR professional would allow a statement like this within 100 miles of a journalist unless some idiot were forcing her to send it.