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The Alabama Senate race has officially become a Simpsons episode

November 22, 2017

Yesterday, the mesh potato bag full of deep-seated shame and skin tags who calls himself our president wholeheartedly endorsed the Republican in Alabama’s upcoming special Senate election, suggesting that our country will ineluctably descend into a black abyss of iniquity, godlessness, and moral relativism unless the pedophile wins.

 

Spake Trump:

 

"I can tell you one thing for sure: We don’t need a liberal person in there, a Democrat — Jones. I’ve looked at his record. It’s terrible on crime. It’s terrible on the border. It’s terrible on the military. I can tell you for a fact, we do not need somebody that’s going to be bad on crime, bad on borders, bad with the military, bad for the Second Amendment."

 

So in other words, we can’t have child molesters like Roy Moore running free and preying on young girls over and over again with total impunity — so elect Roy Moore to the U.S. Senate!

 

As it has so often over its remarkable 28-year run, The Simpsons predicted our future.

 

In the episode “Sideshow Bob Roberts,” the murderous Sideshow Bob is drafted by the GOP to run against longtime Springfield mayor Diamond Joe Quimby. 

 

In the heat of the campaign, Sideshow Bob releases this ad:

 

 

 

“Mayor Quimby supports revolving-door prisons. Mayor Quimby even released Sideshow Bob, a man twice convicted of attempted murder. Can you trust a man like Mayor Quimby? Vote Sideshow Bob for mayor.”

 

It was brilliant satire, because it straddled the line between real-life demagoguery and utter absurdity. And now the utterly absurd has become disturbingly real.

 

So you can add this to the towering, putrefying heap of Republican sins: Donald Trump has ruined another great Simpsons episode.

 

#HurryRobertMueller

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