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You can't spell 'Donald Trump fails' without 'Donald Trump'

September 26, 2017

So Republicans have officially announced that they’re pulling the Graham-Cassidy-Heller-Johnson-Fuck-You-Poors bill:

 

The decision is another blow to President Donald Trump's attempts to repeal Obamacare, a long-time Republican campaign promise and a centerpiece of his legislative agenda. Trump is now also floating the idea of working with Democrats on changes to the health care law, repeating his budget deal he reached earlier this month.

 

The bill never made any sense because 1) it was conceived by Republicans, and nothing they’ve done on health care since Reagan signed the super-socialist Emergency Medical Treatment and Active Labor Act has been ethically or logically defensible and 2) its only purpose was to embarrass our previous president and feed the myth that nothing the government does ever works.

 

Donald Trump is livid, of course, because he inherited an ideal situation, shouted obscenities at all the right people, and didn’t lift a finger to help, and that’s always worked so well for him in the past. But unfortunately for Trump, congressional Republicans were unable to change the laws of economics or human nature to his liking. Only 48 or so people were awful enough to foist this nana-killing bill on us, and they needed at least 50 ghouls to pass it. This angers and confuses Trump, because he once saw Grand Moff Tarkin blow up an entire planet without having to make so much as a phone call. How can it be so hard to destroy the lives of a few million sick people?

 

It’s funny, though, because we seem to remember Donald Trump saying something about how we’re all going to get sick of winning. Then again, he wasn’t completely off base.

 

Democrats keep winning these battles, and you can bet we’re getting pretty sick of having to fight them. 

 

 

 

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