We’re not even a year into this hot-air buffoon ride and already Donald Trump has given us a tidy sampler platter of all the worst things from the past 100 years.
So far he’s cleared a fascist revival and renewed nuclear jitters off his docket, and now he’s hard at work trying to bring back the ruinous economic policies of George W. Bush.
Thanks, Trump supporters. You’re true-blue, old-fashioned American patriots — and you’ve just handed the rest of the free world a smallpox blanket. Well done.
A Mike Pence presidency sounds about as fun as hitchhiking to Branson, Missouri, with a syphilitic fruit bat duct-taped to your genitals, but it would frankly be a relief right now. Pence would drive the country off a cliff in a boring, methodical straight line, so at least we’d know how to respond.
With Trump, there’s no way to predict what he’ll do. He might stare straight into the sun. He might punch Shinzō Abe in the choad. He might start a nuclear war because he can’t beat the high score on Dig Dug. Who knows?
Oh, but now he’s as focused as he ever gets because he’s trying to sell a tax plan that will make him richer. That’s a surefire way to keep him on task.
Yesterday, he gave a tax-reform stump speech in North Dakota — while another hurricane closed in on American soil, naturally — and he kicked it off with one of his favorite lies, claiming that the U.S. is “the highest-taxed nation in the world.”
That wasn’t remotely true two years ago when he first said it, and it’s still not true. He has to know by now that it's false because it’s been debunked by every fact-checker and major media outlet multiple times. So he understands what he’s doing.
But if that were the biggest lie he’s been telling about taxes, we could rest easy. No, the biggest lie is that more tax cuts for the rich will somehow pay for themselves and lead to greater prosperity.
Couple them with the magic of financial deregulation and — voila! — in just a few years you’ll have George W. Bush’s economy! And that economy was awesome until Obama became president in 2005 or 2001, depending on whom you talk to, and promptly went golfing during Hurricane Katrina and 9/11, respectively.
We had a master class for eight years on trickle-down, laissez-faire, upper-class-friendly economics, and the biggest true believer in the world taught it. It was an abysmal failure.
Now we have an even bigger idiot proposing even larger, more sweeping tax cuts that would enrich the wealthy even more.
And what’s the putative reason for these tax cuts? The economy is now so supercharged, thanks to Obama, that the Fed has been forced to raise interest rates. And we don’t have a budget surplus burning a hole in our pockets like we did in 2000. So really the only pretense for these cuts is creating a windfall for the already wealthy.
How do we keep falling for this? It’s like buying a McRib sandwich once every eight years because you’ve somehow convinced yourself it’s not 97 percent hog penis.*
The only question left is, will Republicans be able to erase the memory of Donald J. Trump the way they’ve managed to erase the legacy of George W. Bush? That seems unlikely right now. But, hey, anything’s possible.
*For the record, it isn’t, but McDonald’s should feel free to prove that nonetheless.