On ABC’s This Week yesterday, evil hallucinogenic toad Kellyanne Conway aped Donald Trump’s favorite talking point — namely that Trump is being unduly persecuted for winning an election Hillary Clinton should have won, and that there’s absolutely nothing to the Russian collusion story:
“The entire Russia investigation is a hypothetical. The president has called it a fiction — a total fabrication to excuse the colossal and unexpected, unwanted defeat of Hillary Clinton in last year’s election.”
Of course, such explanations are soothing to Trump stalwarts, who would persist in writing ungrammatical encomiums to their ocher savior if he cut open Chris Christie at a November New Hampshire rally and wore him like a tauntaun until he got back to Mar-a-Lago.
But this is a bizarre talking point for many reasons. First of all, every U.S. intelligence agency would have had to join the conspiracy ... so that they could help a defeated Democrat save face. Not likely.
Secondly, the investigation was started under former FBI Director James Comey, who was no friend to Hillary Clinton during the campaign. If the Democrats want an excuse for losing, they need look no further than Comey himself.
And finally, how can this be a hoax created by the Democrats to cover up for Hillary’s embarrassing loss when the investigation started in July 2016 and the election took place in November? Trump’s supporters may think Hillary is an evil genius, but this is really diabolical. In the middle of a hard-fought race that Hillary fully expected to win, she conspires with James Comey — who is in the process of investigating her — to concoct an excuse for her eventual loss.
If you believe that, you’ll believe anything (which would automatically make you a die-hard Trump supporter).
Maybe she also held Don Jr.’s head underwater for several minutes at summer camp 30 years ago so he’d eventually be stupid enough to set up an official campaign meeting with a cadre of Russian spies.
Donald Trump is a cornered raccoon with a stolen bag of Pixy Stix, and he’s going to start biting back even harder. Unfortunately for him, the number of people who still buy his shtick is now lower than the number who think dinosaurs and humans lived together. If his approval rating drops below the percent who think the sun revolves around the Earth or who think chocolate milk comes from brown cows, he’s done. Even Republicans won’t be able to churn out fresh stupids fast enough to rescue his presidency.