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Trump's tweets are like that time George dragged the Yankees' World Series trophy with his car

July 3, 2017

Remember the Seinfeld episode where George wanted to take a job with the Mets but needed the Yankees to fire him first? An escalating series of intentional screw-ups eventually culminated in this: 

 

It’s hard not to be reminded of that after watching Donald Trump’s Twitter meltdowns over the past week. After tweeting grotesque insults at Mika Brzesinski that would have embarrassed most serial killers (seriously, the only way that tweet could have been creepier is if he’d replaced “she” with “it,” a la Buffalo Bill), he capped off the week with this Churchillian bon mot:

 

 

Have we considered the possibility that Trump really doesn’t want to be president? As in really, really, really doesn’t want to? And never really has? So now he’s doing everything he can to convince the world that he’s unfit for office?

 

Oh, there’s no doubt he wanted to defeat Hillary Clinton, because losing to a woman would have destroyed him. But he proved his point. He won. That’s all he cared about. But what he won was the hardest job in the world (aside from pretty much any other job in the Trump administration). It’s like being elected lieutenant governor of New Jersey and then discovering that your only constitutionally enshrined duty is giving the governor sponge baths.

 

Think about all the reasons Trump wouldn’t want to be president:

  • He’s really bad at it.

  • It’s a full-time job.

  • He gets criticized constantly.

  • He has to live in a house without solid gold toilets or Liberace’s furniture.

  • Everything he does is scrutinized to the nth degree.

  • A special counsel is now officially digging up dirt on him.

  • The media no longer give him fawning coverage.

  • His stunning ignorance about policy is continually exposed.

  • The entire world now knows he’s a churlish idiot.

And why does he want to be president?

 

Look at that list. What would you do? Of course, he can’t resign because that would be admitting defeat. So maybe — consciously or subconsciously — he’s sabotaging his presidency.

 

How else do those tweets make any sense? (Unless the president of the United States is a savage lunatic with the impulse control of a headless chicken, but that’s just too horrifying to contemplate, isn’t it?)

 

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