As tempting as it is to parse every word of James Comey's testimony before the Senate Intelligence Committee today, there's really only one statement that matters:
"I take the president at his word that I was fired because of the Russia investigation."
We're all standing around like a bunch of villagers staring at a monkey who has clenched his fist around a nut in a wooden box and has no clue how to get his hand out of the hole. And for some reason we're all saying, "Oh, damn, how on earth are we ever going to catch that clever monkey?"
Why are we pretending that just because Donald Trump somehow conned his way into the presidency he must be three steps ahead of us at all times? There are only two things anyone really needs to know about Trump: He is a liar ... and he is a moron. But — and here's the important part — he sometimes tells the truth when he's too f-ing stupid to realize that lying might be in his best interest.
Such was the case when he said this during a May 11 interview with Lester Holt:
"[Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein] had made a recommendation. But regardless of recommendation, I was going to fire Comey knowing there was no good time to do it. And in fact, when I decided to just do it, I said to myself — I said, you know, this Russia thing with Trump and Russia is a made-up story. It's an excuse by the Democrats for having lost an election that they should've won."
Trump told the entire world he fired the guy who was investigating his campaign because he was investigating his campaign! How is that not the textbook definition of obstruction of justice? What are we missing?
Look, Trump managed to rally the moron community to his side because he appears charming and down-to-earth to idiots. But that's because he's one of them!
We're like a bunch of nerds reading Plato's Republic in the bleachers at a donkey basketball game.
"Look — dumb guy make stupid!" That's all you really need to know. Done.
Can we end this nightmare now?