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In Trumpland, health insurance costs $15 a month and never goes up

May 12, 2017

Donald Trump's biggest advantage as POTUS is that he's so goddamn criminally insane you can't possibly hold every one of his outrages, moronic statements, and corrupt impulses in your head at once. And when he says several tragically stupid things on the same day, the stupidest one gets all the attention. Sort of the opposite of how he treats his children.

 

So yesterday everyone was talking about Trump's "priming the pump" gaffe (is it a gaffe if you're still convinced you're right after making it?), and a surfeit of imbecility slipped past the dipshittery inspectors.

 

In case you've ever wondered what it's like to inject mescaline into your pupils while being forced to watch Mitch McConnell's latest colonoscopy video on IMax, you owe it to yourself to read the entire transcript of Trump's interview with The Economist.

 

But fair warning: If you try to follow his logic on health care, you will end up like this:

 

 

Here's the best part:

 

"The state governments are in much better position to, you know, help people. In terms of, you know, just the size, the mere size of it. But we’re putting in $8bn and you’re going to have absolute coverage. You’re going to have absolute guaranteed coverage. You’re going to have it if you’re a person going in…don’t forget, this was not supposed to be the way insurance works. Insurance is, you’re 20 years old, you just graduated from college, and you start paying $15 a month for the rest of your life and by the time you’re 70, and you really need it, you’re still paying the same amount and that’s really insurance."

 

So remember when George H.W. Bush was excoriated for supposedly not knowing what a grocery-store scanner was — a revelation that dominated several news cycles, enhanced his reputation as an out-of-touch elite, and contributed to his 1992 reelection defeat? Oh, we owe him such an apology ... and perhaps a hug.

 

In Trumpland, health insurance costs $15 a month and never goes up! And no one blinks because in the same interview he claimed to have come up with Keynesian economic theory in the shower last Tuesday.

 

Oh, and the federal government's $8 billion investment means everyone in the country will be covered. Well, of course they will, because they'll just declare bankruptcy and get their bills paid by Russian oligarchs. Life is so easy, isn't it?

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