Because seeing him lead our military is like watching Winnie the Pooh search for his bong with a hon
So Donald Trump, who has the social graces of an irritable bowel on Carolina reaper peppers and Costco soft-serve ice cream, thought it would be a good idea to visit Walter Reed Medical Center over the weekend.
Apparently, he loves pinning medals on wounded soldiers almost as much as pinning terrified women against inexpensive drywall.
Here's what he said while presenting the Purple Heart to Army Sergeant First Class Alvaro Barrientos:
"Congratulations. Tremendous."
Barrientos had had part of his right leg amputated. And no, it didn't grow back when Trump laid hands on him.
Remarkably, this is the second high-profile gaffe involving Trump and the Purple Heart in less than a year. In August, after a supporter gave him a copy of his Purple Heart — which Trump falsely claimed was real — Trump told a crowd at one of his rallies, "'I said, 'Man, that’s like big stuff. I always wanted to get the Purple Heart. This was much easier.'”
Is it possible the president of the United States doesn't know what the Purple Heart is?
Sadly, yes.
So Trump hasn't even been president for 100 days and he's already lost an aircraft carrier, discussed highly sensitive North Korean policy in full view of the guests at his restaurant, clumsily threatened the most unhinged nuclear power (until January of this year, anyway) in the world, and congratulated an Afghanistan war veteran for getting his leg blown off.
One day, your great-grandchildren will ask you what it was like to live in America with Donald J. Trump as president. Tell them it was kind of like living with a howler monkey who was just intelligent enough to operate the microwave but not quite smart enough to know you weren't supposed to put metal in it.
