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Because he thinks playing a game of nuclear brinkmanship is just like firing Stephen Baldwin

April 16, 2017

 

Apparently, some Americans still think Donald Trump might "become presidential." Well, anything might happen. Paris Hilton might sequence her labradoodle's genome. Honey Boo Boo might prove string theory. Flavor Flav might build a commercially viable fusion reactor in his hot tub. But they're reality stars. Don't expect much.

 

Unfortunately, Trump makes Paris Hilton look like Marie Curie.

 

Trump once said he could eliminate the entire national debt in eight years.

 

He seemed genuinely surprised that health care policy is complex.

 

Now he's saying that after listening to Chinese President Xi Jinping discuss North Korea for 10 minutes he suddenly realized that dealing with Kim Jong-un's nuclear ambitions is "not so easy."

 

But apparently it is easy! All you have to do is threaten to attack the most dangerously unstable leader in the world before heading out for your extended weekend! Brilliant!

 

A hundred bucks to the first reporter who asks Trump if he believes he can invade Kamchatka with the five armies he has in Alaska right now or if he feels it's simply too early to roll the dice.

 

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